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Before I destroyed it all with my stupidity.And what made it even worse for me was that the last man inside me, the last man to have my body wasn't even my husband! It was Hugo! The man that I let destroy my marriage and send the man I love to prison! Hugo! Even now, that thought makes me sick. Sick at heart as well as sick to my stomach. When the memory surfaces, as it does on those days when the world seems to have it in for me, I end up on the floor in the bathroom, still wet from the shower that never seems to make me feel clean. And regardless of what they say, time hasn't made it any less. It is still as vivid in my memory as the day it happened. And I hate it! I pray that I can forget it, but so far my prayers haven't been answered.Enough! It was done and it was over. Stop wishing and saying sorry over and over. It doesn't help anything! And stop waiting for fate to come along and punish you so it can then forgive you! God doesn't punish the guilty and reward the innocent!. I broke to the surface and turned but didn't see Davy, thenI felt his hands on my waist as he also came up for air. He had thatsilly grin of his plastered all over his face as we floated there, justinches apart. I saw mom waving at me, so I pushed away and climbed out."Margie and I are going to the party store on the corner to get somedrinks and snacks Brenda." Looking at Davy, "And David, I want you tohelp her keep an eye on Kathy. We'll only be gone a few minutes, okay?" Sure mom," I said while Davy nodded his head yes.We sat, then watched as Kathy frolicked with the other girls her age."You look a lot like your mother," Davy said suddenly. "better in a lotof ways though."He took my hand when I didn't answer him, just watching Kathy instead,but my mind was racing a mile a minute. Davy thought I was a girl, whichwas good considering, but why was I so easily letting him treat me like agirl! Davy is only a bit taller than me, but he was already starting tofill out a little, and with.
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